22 Comments
Apr 12, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

This is just the article I needed to read on my lunch break.

I am 8 weeks away from becoming a qualified counsellor, I have gone through my (highly intensive) training whilst holding down full time work, planning a wedding and getting married and starting a new job. I have just been hired as a life story worker and am employed to help tell children why they are unable to live with their birth parents- it’s incredible and they trust me with the massive privilege of doing so. I’m so proud of me! And I’m only just learning that saying that is ok!

- ps when I qualify I have decided that part of my monthly Cpd budget is going to be spent on being a paid subscriber! So thank you!

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I love this!!! I changed careers to Surface Pattern Design almost three years ago and I'm still in the stage of finding my audience & clients to build a consistent income BUT despite not having the income yet that backs up me being "good" at this, and while I'm always learning & improving, I am confident that I am already good enough to create professional work for clients (and have felt that way for some time.) Even though I know as I learn and grow I'll look back and see things in older designs I'd do differently, I am still really confident and happy in my work right now. I walk around shops & see things online and know my designs could fit in those commercial spaces.

What does come with that is moments of thinking am I delusional because I don't have the level of external validation yet that matches my internal confidence. But I do have people whose judgement I trust, and who wouldn't just stay nice stuff if they didn't believe it, who reassure me that my designs are the quality I think they are.

The other one that comes up a lot and annoys me so much is "self-sabotage" which pits actions that you take to keep yourself safe as the enemy, rather than something that has probably been very useful in the past but you realise now needs to change to help you move forward!

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Apr 12, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

Backwards from most recent:

Successfully helped my late father execute his Will and estate and arranged his funeral all three were difficult to navigate. I am proud of myself for hanging in there against all odds at times. I know he would be proud too as he always taught me life skills and practical skills too.

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Apr 12, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

I love this! I have been working on trusting the opinions of those who hire me or compliment me when I am feeling not good enough. It definitely helps, especially when you have supportive people around you.

I have earned my place at the poetry microphone. It's taken me too long to recognise my own talent, and recognise how I can share it the way I want to share it is possible. But I AM good at it. Even ones that I am not sure about, other people enjoy. I have a group of writers who are full of encouragements and useful advice to keep me improving, so not only do I deserve to be in that space, but the more I grow, the larger the space I deserve is. I am working on a manuscript to try and get published, and already have ideas for a second one. There are some phenomenal poets in my local area. And I am included in that group, even on the days I have to borrow confidence elsewhere until its my own.

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founding
Apr 12, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

Love this! I work in tech and I see a lot women in tech events that fall into the same sort of trap as those panels you've described - how to reassure ourselves that we should be here when realistically we were hired to do the same job as everyone else because we have the skills and experience it needs! There have been moments where that doubt creeps in, like when someone makes a suuuuper hilarious joke about diversity hires or implies that me being a woman meant that I was just a tick in a box, but I know now that reflects way more on them than me 🤷‍♀️

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Apr 12, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/02/13/the-dubious-rise-of-impostor-syndrome

This article is really good, explains how concept has been misappropriated and ties in to what yiu have been saying!

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Apr 12, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

I started working at my job at 19 and went up the ladder over time. I am now in an expert position for the financial product I’ve been working with for 23 years. I used to minimize my importance and knowledge but not anymore. I know more than most of the people around me and it’s ok for me to recognize that. When I go on vacation or I’m sick, I know I will have to deal with complex situations that could not be dealt with without me and I’ve come to recognize that. I also take compliments about my work and accomplishments a lot more easily than I used to.

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Apr 12, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

Wow, I’ve never thought about it like this! While I sometimes get a bit stressed about work and find particular conversations or moments tricky, I’m still good at it! I’m trying to keep reminding myself of that, and the fact that being in uncomfortable and challenging situations is how you grow and develop, it doesn’t mean you’re no good.

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I've never thought about the Impostor Syndrome this way and now you really got me wondering: were my feelings of inadequacy and being not good enough even mine, or were they enforced on me as some part of putting all women into the same basket? I felt not good enough at my job in the past, and I think that my former boss only fueled those feelings. Lately I finally started believing in my own abilties and competences. And I'm not gonna let enough tell me that I don't belong in the room because I know what I bring to the table.

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Something about the term ‘imposter syndrome’ has never sat right with me and you’ve nailed it! I recently started a new job which, although similar sector to before, is quite different and requires me to build up different skills to the ones I’ve been using most of my career so far...I’m also from a different career background to most of my colleagues. It would have been easy for me to fall into feeling ‘not good enough’ but instead I’m telling myself that 1) they’ve most likely hired me to bring in fresh ideas and perspectives and 2) I’m more than capable of learning and excelling at new things/re-learning out of date skills 🙌

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