We grow up in a world that praises achievement but when does achieving turn into overachieving and can that become a problem?
So..this really hit home! I have a troublesome need for validation from my manager (work) and it doesn't seem to matter how much I get I still feel like I'm not good enough. In childhood, my accomplishments at school were highly praised, as well as my being "easy to deal with/look after" and "nice and quiet for a child". Group this together with being sent to all manner of diet "clubs" (WW I am looking at you) from age 8 and I can see why this need has come about. Working on being enough - no, on knowing I am enough and feeling it! Your words help Michelle, thanks!
I had a problem with connecting my worth to being productive and didn't know how to get proper rest. I constantly felt guilty for wasting my time away when I was not working, doing chores, etc. But someone told me that I cannot pour water from an empty cup and overworking may lead to burnout. So now I know how to unplug
Thank you for this newsletter. I think the trouble is that in our society overachieving is rarely seen as an issue and rather a virtue making people question if they have a problem in the first place. It's so hard to find balance, I know I have dipped the other way and been completely avoidant of work out of fear of failing. I hope everyone here (me included) can find that happy medium.
I have always been an under achiever thought my life with the only to expections . One being that my life's goals are to be the best counselor I can be for my clients where my focus is helping them find more effective ways to cope with their severe mental illness as well as helping achieve their own unique life goals that bring them a sense of accomplishment and help them improve the quality of their lives in all areas of their lives; this means helping them achieve what Maslow refers to as self-actualization ; where it is a process of progressively becoming the best they can be and have meaningful and productive lives. So, when they become older they can look back and see themselves as being happy as well as successful in their chosen area of expertise!
Second, I am an over-achiever in conditioning my mind and body as well as improving my self-defense and combat skills to possibly deal with real life violent encounters either in the street and/ or possibly a home invasion where not only I am fighting for to save my life but also it is equally important to ensure my loves ones are not harmed by these violent predators who have no problem seriously injurying their victims and/or possibly rape, or torture and/ or kill without having any remorse for their actions. Most of these violent predators actually enjoy seeing their victims suffer and having the victim to stop beating, torturing, and pled for their lives . I have would will victims who have suffered the hands of these predators who show no mercy to their victim. Personally, in 2009, my ex fiancee was butchered to death by her husband. He used a butcher's knife and stabbed her more than 40 times before the police was able to arrived at her home on this tragic day on November 19, 2009 in Athens, GA. The police where too late to intervene and safe her life.
As a result of this tragic event, I became obsessed with increasing my understanding by researching and studying with top self defense experts who specifically teach reality based based self defense skills and strategies to effective combat such violent predators and who have scientifically studied and created reality based self defense combat skills , teaching effective feat management, as well as understanding pre- contact cues both verbal and non- verbal behaviors that help a potential victim know the signs of when a violent attack is about commence and taking the necessary steps to either attempt to run from these violent assailants if there is a possible escape route. However, I some situations there is no escape from being attacked by these violent and vicious predators; therefore, the goal is to teach them to fight them with all your might, soul, and develop what is called a ' warrior's mentality where you refuse to give up no matter how bad the violent attackers maybe. Therefore, I instill in my students I have taught in the past, to become physical stronger, building their physical and mental toughness, managing their fear during these life threatening situations and using it to their advantage as where once they are able to overcome their fear spike them the body produces an adrenaline surge that makes them incredibly strong, powerful, and even more violently and being as vicious and as ruthless as they be to survive and injure these violent predators to the point where either they give up due to being seriously injured my the so called victim and/ or the violent predator realize they are going to be seriously injured themselves if they continue to attack this victim. Also, I also as well as my former self defense instructor helps them find improvised weapons that would seriously injure and/ or kill a violent predator (s) if it is necessary to save not only their lives but also possibly their loved ones lives as well.
My point is I rather be an overachiever in these specific areas where I work out 4 hours per day , for 6 days a week. My approach is making my muscles stronger, increasing my power, speed, and explosiveness as I use whatever means is necessary to seriously disable a possible violent attacker where he/ she is no longer able to fight back!
Therefore, I developed a mind set where I am always pushing both my physical) mental limits and push myself to develop higher levels of physical endurance as well as mental stamina and work my but off to learn to be more mentally/physically tough to the point where a potential violent predator (s) is going to be seriously injured by me even if I am injured during this combative and violent situation. This i am always instilling me and learn to dig deep and instill the will to survive no matter how dire the situation maybe and no matter how big/ strong the attacker's maybe and will fight multiple violent assailants as best as I can to successful survive each an attack. I am not worried about the legal, moral, or ethical by products of being a ruthless, vicious, and as violent as I can be to seriously injure as many violent assailants as possible to not only protect myself but to also protect my loves from being harm/ killed and/ or even worse raped and/ tortured by these violent predators.