23 Comments
Apr 21, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

We set up a joint account when we moved in together and put an amount in each month to cover bills etc. This amount has changed over the years depending on what we are each earning and what we can afford to pay in. This works really well for us as we each have our own money to spend how we want and all bills, food and children's expenses are paid for.

Expand full comment

I feel like we take a lazy approach in my relationship 😂 maybe because we’ve been together a long time?! All of our bills come out of my husbands account (but mortgage is in both of our names). He earns more than three times what I do, so I contribute what is affordable to me by transferring to him directly, to go towards mortgage and bills. I ensure I have enough for my own personal expenses plus I also cover things like buying my daughter new clothes. It’s all super flexible and reflective of the huge difference in income. My husband also saves for us as a family due to this - so deposit for buying a house, holiday money, all big things for us as a family come from this.

Expand full comment

We have a joint account that we pay all the bills from. We worked out how much each of us needed to pay in order to leave us each the same disposable income. This means one of us pays more but its the fairest way to do it I think!

Expand full comment

I actually can’t remember discussing this when we first moved in together. It happened quite naturally I think. We’ve been together over 20 years and were young and broke when we met, so pooling together the little we had seemed natural.

As others have said, there have been times when I wasn’t earning (children and study) and luckily it has never been an issue. He has never questioned what I spend and I haven’t him. But I can imagine that wouldn’t work in all relationships.

I’m unable to work due to my health now, I’m only 42. He earns everything and I have felt guilt around this. But then I carry the emotional labour of being a mother, organising the household and planning everything. So I think it balances. I may not contribute financially, but there are other ways to give value in a family.

Expand full comment

I’m moving in with my boyfriend later this year and it’ll be my first time living with someone - so am looking forward to hearing any suggestions for this! 😊

Expand full comment

All of our bills are paid from my boyfriend's account and then I just transfer my part every month. We also have a joint account for food and household essentials, so we always have that money reserved only for that purpose.

We currently don't split things evenly as I'm a student without a job(I live in Denmark, so I get a monthly student grant) and he has a full-time job. When I'm done with my education, we plan to split based on salary.

Expand full comment

My fiance and I have a very open and flexible approach to finances. I am earning more than him at the moment so I am paying the majority of our bills, I have the direct debits directly from my bank account. He pays for our internet and TV packages and grocery shopping and also some debts that were accrued prior to our relationship. He recently took a pay cut to escape a toxic work environment so I took some household bills back from him to allow him to be mentally happy at work. I would much rather have less spendies for me than him be unhappy at work. We often sit down and go over our monthly budgets when there is a big payment coming up (new car tyres, MOTs, annual subscriptions etc) and see what we can contribute or if we need to realign the bill splits. Honesty is the best policy by far!

Expand full comment

First we split the bills and rent 50/50, one person had it all being paid out of their account and the other paid them back. But once we decided to buy a house together, we agreed that a joint account would be much easier to manage everything.

Now we both put in an equal amount to cover bills, groceries and some ‘fun spending’ (meals out etc.). This amount varies on what we need, but always an amount we can both afford while having some personal spending money in our own accounts still.

Expand full comment

I don't live together with my partner yet (I am finishing the last year of uni), but we have been together for a while now and on a few vacations. Because I am earning much less than he is at this moment, we have split vacations 1/3 2/3, and in other situations he usually pays and I make sure to also sometimes pay for dinner or groceries so I don't feel like I am just living off of his back. He has made clear several times that when he wants to use his money for nice experiences (such as going out for dinner), I do not have to worry about it being more expensive than I would go for for myself.

Expand full comment

We have a joint account where we determine the amount we need to cover all our bills, groceries etc. and we both put in a proportional amount based on a % of our monthly salary. This way, we can see if - proportionally speaking - it's being fairly divided. (40% of one salary might be £800, but the same on a smaller salary is only £600). I work part time due to chronic disability so this was the most equal way we could figure it out. Sometimes we treat one another, or if we have an unexpected bill we put in more, but it's worked this way for us for a decade!

Expand full comment

My husband and I put all our income in one joint account and then pay all the bills from there. We make comparatively the same. We also have a budget we try to stick to with varying monthly success. If we both want something it’s a line item in the budget. As long as it fits the budget we can spend on what we want. If it’s a bigger-ish purchase we discuss beforehand. If someone is spending a little too much on, say, Starbucks (me) one (my husband) will say to the other “oh make sure you’re looking at the budget you may need to slow down on going to Starbucks.” And we both adjust accordingly. We’re both very happy with our system!

Expand full comment

Great question! Happy Friday all! My boyfriend and I moved in together last month. We split rent and bills equally as we earn similar amounts. I have the direct debit for council tax and he is responsible for the other bills. We balance this out at the end of the month using a spreadsheet he made to track our household expenditure. but usually the council tax costs more than the other bills so he sends me money. I'm in charge of the grocery shopping so use monzo split to request half of the money back. We use monzo to split most things. He tends to pay more on dates and holidays partially because he likes to and also because I have higher outgoings due to private therapy costs. I also sometimes fully pay for dates as well.

He may end up earning much more in the near future due to his sector and then we will split rent or (a mortage if we have one by then) equitably rather than equally. We had this conversation before moving in together.

We don't have a joint account as we've just moved in together and using monzo split seems to be working well. We both also have two accounts each so would find another hard to manage. We will definitely consider getting a joint account next year.

Expand full comment

My partner earns c3x what I do, we've been together 3 years and lived together one. We split most expenses between us using Splitwise, but have a joint account for bills. He pays slightly more rent and for food than me (he eats a lot!) but we keep it fairly even in general as it is important to me to feel self sufficient. That said, he will do things like pay when we eat out/go on holidays if there are things he wants us to do that aren't within my budget!

Expand full comment

Me and my partner’s salaries get paid into our joint account... and we buy things jointly... we take out a small amount each month, which is mainly used for buying Christmas and birthday presents for the other 🤣 I think we’re probably quite unusual in that regard as most people split bills or pay in a relative contribution.

At times I have earned more and at times he has earned more. But it’s all joint money...

I don’t think this would work for all people, but it works for us!

We do own a house together (he put in the whole deposit... but we own fully 50:50) and we’re getting married a week tomorrow)!

Expand full comment

Our way is flexible. I’ve been very ill for 6 years and for 4 of those have only been able to work one day a week. I pay for groceries and things i want to buy for myself and my health insurance . My bf pays rent and other insurances (our rent is about the same as groceries so very low). For holidays i pay what i can at that moment. It’s flexible if i have more money i pay more if i don’t he helps. I think in the future we would do a shared account to pay all shared costs and separate accounts so we can buy ourselfs thing and save our own money thats left.

Expand full comment

We split everything 50/50. He transfers money to me for half of all the Bill's and we split most things on holidays and other things. It's my choice to be like that, I think my partner would be happy to do things either way. We have all separate bank accounts, I like that. I think I just really like the thought of my own financial independence. This way isn't for everyone but for 18 years has been our way.

Expand full comment

I have no experience with this but I'm curious about what other people do :)

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
Expand full comment