Welcome to a place on the internet for all things personal growth. The difference is you are also allowed to be human, and mess up just like everyone else.
Maybe not the best example, but one of the most recent that comes to mind is at my work. I work in a male dominated career. There are already stigmas in place about women working in the field, but the physical stigmas often rear their ugly heads.
The tall, physically appearing “fit”, and attractive males are perceived as the most capable, hardest working, disciplined ones. Women are judged similarly, if you aren’t giving the outward appearance of “fit” (or you aren’t attractive enough to sleep with) you are seen as less capable of your job, lazy, etc. I don’t fit either of those categories.
The time came for an internal promotion. As the department started to talk about the candidates that applied, those stereotypical type male and females were the ones everyone talked about. My name wasn’t in the discussion. My confidence in my abilities faltered and I worried it would affect my chances. So often perception is reality.
The interview and evaluations were conducted and BAM! I SMOKED all of them. I beat them ALL.
When I sat down with myself to process it all- I realized that 1. My body was not a factor in this promotion, despite the “culture” and gossip. 2. My body would not have gotten me the job. It was my brain, my wit, my work ethic, my attention to detail, my passions, and my skill set. I am more than my body or my appearance.
I struggle with the “perceptions” and culture of this job every day. But on that day-I had clarity. And it was glorious.
This is such an empowering story and wow I'm just so impressed! It's a huge testament to you that you are able to put those outside perceptions and messages from society out of your mind! It's so true! xxx
I've been on many dates in my early twenties when the guys were mostly interested in my physical features, without giving too much thought about my personality. I've realized that I am more than a pretty face when I was 24 and I was dating a guy who was always curious about my opionion about various things and was always eager go read books I reccommended.
So excited for this! I have been thinking a lot about redemption and forgiveness recently, and really struggle to see how society will improve if we don't let people try to better themselves. It makes me feel a bit hopeless and scared of doing anything at all.
Absolutely - and I think it's a reflection of the fact that we now judge ourselves so much more harshly! If we can't forgive ourselves, we are much more likely to keep count of everyone who has wronged us!
A moment I've struggled with not being seen as more than a body was when a "friend" of mine tried to push his feeder kink onto me and wasn't interested in me much beyond that. As a plus size girl it's definitely stayed with me and I recently read back on a blog post I made about it - https://awholelottylove.blogspot.com/2020/07/my-body-my-home-discussion-about-body.html?m=1 - that girl was a lot more hurt than she let on and it's a difficult one to unpack and I haven't had the time since life keeps throwing me other obstacles. My way of dealing with this is just trying to remember all the things I've achieved that have nothing to do with my weight and it definitely helps.
Maybe not the best example, but one of the most recent that comes to mind is at my work. I work in a male dominated career. There are already stigmas in place about women working in the field, but the physical stigmas often rear their ugly heads.
The tall, physically appearing “fit”, and attractive males are perceived as the most capable, hardest working, disciplined ones. Women are judged similarly, if you aren’t giving the outward appearance of “fit” (or you aren’t attractive enough to sleep with) you are seen as less capable of your job, lazy, etc. I don’t fit either of those categories.
The time came for an internal promotion. As the department started to talk about the candidates that applied, those stereotypical type male and females were the ones everyone talked about. My name wasn’t in the discussion. My confidence in my abilities faltered and I worried it would affect my chances. So often perception is reality.
The interview and evaluations were conducted and BAM! I SMOKED all of them. I beat them ALL.
When I sat down with myself to process it all- I realized that 1. My body was not a factor in this promotion, despite the “culture” and gossip. 2. My body would not have gotten me the job. It was my brain, my wit, my work ethic, my attention to detail, my passions, and my skill set. I am more than my body or my appearance.
I struggle with the “perceptions” and culture of this job every day. But on that day-I had clarity. And it was glorious.
This is such an empowering story and wow I'm just so impressed! It's a huge testament to you that you are able to put those outside perceptions and messages from society out of your mind! It's so true! xxx
What a powerful realization! And a great way of showing others what you bring to the table 👏
I've been on many dates in my early twenties when the guys were mostly interested in my physical features, without giving too much thought about my personality. I've realized that I am more than a pretty face when I was 24 and I was dating a guy who was always curious about my opionion about various things and was always eager go read books I reccommended.
I always find those who comment on my appearance first even on a dating app, tend to only stay interested on appearance!
Same here.
I love that you’re doing this! Really excited to see where it goes 😁
Thank you so much!
So excited for this! I have been thinking a lot about redemption and forgiveness recently, and really struggle to see how society will improve if we don't let people try to better themselves. It makes me feel a bit hopeless and scared of doing anything at all.
Absolutely - and I think it's a reflection of the fact that we now judge ourselves so much more harshly! If we can't forgive ourselves, we are much more likely to keep count of everyone who has wronged us!
Yesssss!
Powerful stuff here! Thank you for your words 🙏🏼
Thank you for being here!
🥰👌🏽💕
Thank you for audio recording 🙏🤩❣️
Aww yay! Glad it worked... now to figure out how to do it on paid posts!
A moment I've struggled with not being seen as more than a body was when a "friend" of mine tried to push his feeder kink onto me and wasn't interested in me much beyond that. As a plus size girl it's definitely stayed with me and I recently read back on a blog post I made about it - https://awholelottylove.blogspot.com/2020/07/my-body-my-home-discussion-about-body.html?m=1 - that girl was a lot more hurt than she let on and it's a difficult one to unpack and I haven't had the time since life keeps throwing me other obstacles. My way of dealing with this is just trying to remember all the things I've achieved that have nothing to do with my weight and it definitely helps.