Hey Kirsty! I think the first step is actually acknowledging the moments when we dismiss our feelings so you might recognise phrases like 'it isn't a big deal', 'i'm being silly', or even apologies for crying. Eliminate all of this. It took me a long time to stop apologising for my emotions and I just had to ban it. I could say anything …
Hey Kirsty! I think the first step is actually acknowledging the moments when we dismiss our feelings so you might recognise phrases like 'it isn't a big deal', 'i'm being silly', or even apologies for crying. Eliminate all of this. It took me a long time to stop apologising for my emotions and I just had to ban it. I could say anything else but I would not use the word 'sorry' or 'apologies'. Then it's about practicing that compassionate voice! How would you speak to a small child when they are in their feelings. Imagine yourself as a small child and especially if you are a bottler, they might need some encouragement to actually fully feel their feelings so words like "I'm here, you are safe. I'm going to sit with you as long as you are in this and you are not going to scare me off. I am here and I am with you". In terms of bottling things up, I want you to start having regular check ins with yourself. Associate it with a specific time whether it's you waking up or you going to sleep or even when you make yourself a cup of tea and are waiting for the kettle to boil and I want you to do a full body scan. So start your attention on the top of your head and go down your body and notice any discomfort, tension, heat or pressure. Once you are aware of it, even if you don't have time to process it, look at your diary and schedule a time to explore that sensation further. This will help you create more time to feel it before it builds up. Hope that helps! xx
Hey Kirsty! I think the first step is actually acknowledging the moments when we dismiss our feelings so you might recognise phrases like 'it isn't a big deal', 'i'm being silly', or even apologies for crying. Eliminate all of this. It took me a long time to stop apologising for my emotions and I just had to ban it. I could say anything else but I would not use the word 'sorry' or 'apologies'. Then it's about practicing that compassionate voice! How would you speak to a small child when they are in their feelings. Imagine yourself as a small child and especially if you are a bottler, they might need some encouragement to actually fully feel their feelings so words like "I'm here, you are safe. I'm going to sit with you as long as you are in this and you are not going to scare me off. I am here and I am with you". In terms of bottling things up, I want you to start having regular check ins with yourself. Associate it with a specific time whether it's you waking up or you going to sleep or even when you make yourself a cup of tea and are waiting for the kettle to boil and I want you to do a full body scan. So start your attention on the top of your head and go down your body and notice any discomfort, tension, heat or pressure. Once you are aware of it, even if you don't have time to process it, look at your diary and schedule a time to explore that sensation further. This will help you create more time to feel it before it builds up. Hope that helps! xx