A wedding question! At my both brothers weddings my grandma (assisted by my auntie) has taken it upon herself to do a speech without being asked and without asking consent. They’ve been between 20 - 45 minutes long!!! I am getting married in October and I don’t feel comfortable with this happening. Especially without my permission. We’re…
A wedding question! At my both brothers weddings my grandma (assisted by my auntie) has taken it upon herself to do a speech without being asked and without asking consent. They’ve been between 20 - 45 minutes long!!! I am getting married in October and I don’t feel comfortable with this happening. Especially without my permission. We’re not particularly close either. How do I bring it up? She won’t ask me for my consent so do I just assume she might do it and straight up tell her I don’t feel comfortable? She’s 95 she may well forget too, so worth adding in my auntie?! I’m fully prepped for family comments about being ‘mean’ to a 95 year old woman 🙃 but it’s *my* wedding!
I'm so glad you are prepared for the comments because they will likely come and you are right, it is YOUR wedding and good on you for knowing what you want. In terms of bringing it up, you just have to bite the bullet and say 'We have been thinking about our wedding and we are being really selective about who is doing our speeches. We want to keep them short and we really appreciate you wanting to speak at our wedding and that is not needed. If you get up on the day to speak, we will ask you to sit back down as we simply don't have the time. If you would like to convey your sentiments, I would love to hear it in a handwritten letter or we can organise for you to film a video for us so we have a keepsake we can always look back on. I would also tell the person who will be in control of the mic, if she can't get the mic then she can't speak and whoever is sitting next to her might be able to assist on this. If she does get up to speak on the day, have a plan so that either you or your partner goes up to her and says 'we spoke about this. You are not allowed to give a speech without our permission and we need you to respect our wishes'. You deserve to have the wedding day you want! It's a hard conversation but one truly worth having because no one wants a speech that long at any wedding!
Thank you! This is a great approach and a lovely idea. Our MC (my brother in law) is already fully briefed to not allow it 😅 so just need to bite the bullet and tell her! X
A wedding question! At my both brothers weddings my grandma (assisted by my auntie) has taken it upon herself to do a speech without being asked and without asking consent. They’ve been between 20 - 45 minutes long!!! I am getting married in October and I don’t feel comfortable with this happening. Especially without my permission. We’re not particularly close either. How do I bring it up? She won’t ask me for my consent so do I just assume she might do it and straight up tell her I don’t feel comfortable? She’s 95 she may well forget too, so worth adding in my auntie?! I’m fully prepped for family comments about being ‘mean’ to a 95 year old woman 🙃 but it’s *my* wedding!
I'm so glad you are prepared for the comments because they will likely come and you are right, it is YOUR wedding and good on you for knowing what you want. In terms of bringing it up, you just have to bite the bullet and say 'We have been thinking about our wedding and we are being really selective about who is doing our speeches. We want to keep them short and we really appreciate you wanting to speak at our wedding and that is not needed. If you get up on the day to speak, we will ask you to sit back down as we simply don't have the time. If you would like to convey your sentiments, I would love to hear it in a handwritten letter or we can organise for you to film a video for us so we have a keepsake we can always look back on. I would also tell the person who will be in control of the mic, if she can't get the mic then she can't speak and whoever is sitting next to her might be able to assist on this. If she does get up to speak on the day, have a plan so that either you or your partner goes up to her and says 'we spoke about this. You are not allowed to give a speech without our permission and we need you to respect our wishes'. You deserve to have the wedding day you want! It's a hard conversation but one truly worth having because no one wants a speech that long at any wedding!
M xx
Thank you! This is a great approach and a lovely idea. Our MC (my brother in law) is already fully briefed to not allow it 😅 so just need to bite the bullet and tell her! X