22 Comments
May 3, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

I really enjoyed this one! Whilst I am someone who greatly values structure, I’m definitely going to be more mindful about this in the next few days. I think part of it also plays into the morality you spoke about, where people say skipping dinner or forgetting to eat lunch makes you seem like a stronger person (for me, I always associated people “forgetting to eat a meal” with someone who had achieved the success of having a good enough body that they never had to obsess about their food). Total disordered eating mind set!

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May 3, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

I have been trying intuitive eating after many years with an ED, even now it's been 4 years or more, I feel like it's still going against the grain. Your body knows better than arbitrary rules! No need to over or under compensate for yesterday or tomorrow. Just listen ❤️

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May 3, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

I often eat my lunch at breakfast time and I take lots of snacks to work so I can eat when I want/need to which keeps me going through the day! I think this coincidentally keeps my metabolism up too

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This was an interesting read, thanks Michelle! For medical reasons at the moment I need to try and eat little and often rather than 3 big meals, and I’m finding it so hard, the 3 meal pattern feels so set in stone to me...I just don’t want to eat little and often! So this is a good way of thinking about things ☺️

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May 3, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

Love this! I also started doing something im not used to which is eating just bread for dinner if I’ve had a big lunch. When we go out for lunch with work it’s a whole meal that would normally be my dinner instead of the sandwich that I would have for lunch. Normally because I’m so used to having dinner at dinner I would then have another big meal for dinner when I don’t need to. Because I’ve lately been dealing with some temporary ibs and what I can and want to eat has become more complicated I decided why not just have a simple sandwich with peanut butter today. So i tried it, and it was enough. I ate the same amount in the day I would normally eat just in a different order and my stomach didn’t care. But sometimes these concepts are hard to let go off.

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May 3, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

I have never questioned the three meals a day thing 🤯

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Oh, this is interesting! I will def apply this :)

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My whole life I was told that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Except for I rarely feel hungry first thing in the morning. My whole adolescent life I fought with my parents over skipping breakfast. When I moved out for uni, I decided to start my day with a glass of water with lemon and take breakfast with me to have it on a go. And I feel better this way. I try to eat when I'm hungry and stop eating when I'm fool. Many Polish children of my generation were taught to clear the plate. Or there is even a joke in my country: leave the potatoes but eat the meat. It really took me 20-some years to realize that it takes my body 20 minutes to notice that I am satiated and not finishing the whole meal is not disrespectful.

I also had to work on a notion: "don't reward yourself with food. You're not a dog". I feel if I want to cheer myself up with comfort food or celebrate with a good meal, I have every damn right to do so.

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I feel like the structured mealtimes are less about being ‘civilised’ and more about practicality. Humans are sociable and live in family groups. When I was single, I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, without regard for the clock. Now I cook for five people - including me - and it’s sensible to create one evening mealtime (or two on the weekends) that everyone attends together. If everyone in my house ate truly intuitively, whenever they were hungry, it would be an insane amount of work and result in a lot of wasted food. That said, I take my breaks when I want at work and tend to skip breakfast, eat in the early afternoon and when I get home (9pm) as I can please myself. When I’m off work and the kids are at school, I might eat leftovers at around 10am (also hate typical western breakfast foods and, due to nightshifts and travel in my youth, can happily eat noodles/rice/spag bol at 9am) and then eat again with family for dinner. So I guess I only eat twice a day but have to accommodate those around me. Just need to nail the stopping when full bit, which I always fail at.

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I’ve stopped dieting after a long time late last year. I was terrified of letting it go but it was making me miserable. It’s been 6 months and I’m learning to trust my body and my choices. The idea of not eating three times a day is very daunting to me because I don’t know how to listen to my body well enough yet. I think some intuitive eating research is very much needed and this article is very helpful 😊 xXx

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Thanks for sharing 💕

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I started doing this fairly recently too! I find that my stomach causes me a lot of bloating and other problems if I eat big meals, so I’ve stopped forcing myself to eat the standard big breakfast, lunch and dinner, and instead snack throughout the day. The hardest part was getting over what other people thought, and their judgement when I wouldn’t finish my meals if we went out, but I just take it away with me and finish it eventually, just at my own pace 😊

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During the week the structure of being sorted for the school run in the morning & having to make sure my little person is fed before her bedtime is mostly what dictates our mealtimes, but at weekends and in the holidays we can really be all over the place with meals - and the interesting thing about it is that reading this I realise how I've had lots of shame attachment to that and been feeling like I'm a bad parent & setting a bad example for her, even though I'll always make sure when she says she's hungry she has something to eat and she has a mix of food throughout the day. I can't believe how much shame I've been carrying about it without realising, especially when actually teaching my daughter to listen to hunger cues and eat when she feels like it is what I want her to learn!!!

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On a work day I eat three meals, working in a school I have a set time for lunch and rarely the opportunity for a break. It's really busy and if I don't eat breakfast I am starving by lunch! I have to eat something like Shreddies (well supermarket own) as they keep me full for longer. I ensure I take a big enough lunch as I can't then eat again until I get home. I have dinner around half five as I am hungry by then. When it's weekend or school holidays I listen to my body more, I usually have a small lunch as I'm not that keen on lunch foods and still an early dinner as I am hungry by then. Breakfast is decided by listening to my stomach.

I find it hard to have my main meal at lunch which happens occasionly if I am out with friends or family, I'm not always hungry at in the evening but know from past experience I will be hungry at bed time or wake up hungry so I do eat something small. It also confuses my brain if I don't eat in the evening as by brain likes the routine of meals

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