We are talking about dating wins! As you know, I am very opposed to ghosting in all contexts so I would love to know your go-to text template for ending it. You can find mine in both my books but let me know yours! Is there a time you were particularly proud of yourself for ending it? How did it go?
I didn't feel chemistry with the guy and I told him we would be better off as friends. It's been 9 years ago and we still keep in touch, checking on each other now and then.
I say thank you for the lovely date/dates and explain why I don’t want to go forward romantically. Sometimes they agree and sometimes they don’t but I’ve never had anyone be rude or disrespectful after letting them know I feel. I think its good to be honest and speak to someone how I would want to be spoken to. It was really uncomfortable at first but now I just realise its showing someone respect and cutting to the chase rather than having the horrible guessing games.
I’m lucky to be in a committed relationship now. But when I was dating I’d drop them a message saying ‘it was lovely speaking to you/meeting you etc. but I don’t see this going any further or something similar’. Basically thanking them for their time and giving them a real, but Kind reason why I am ending the conversation/dating.
Most people actually thanked me for being honest. Some agreed with me anyway. And only one got super angry and shouted abuse at me 🤷♀️
I recently said something like "I dont think we are compatible and I am not able to give you the romantic relationship or connection you seek. Wishing you good luck and take care!" It worked out fine. I didnt tell him precisely why we werent compatible and that is something I've been wondering about - do I explain where he didnt fit the bill or not? Well, he didnt ask for clarification, so I think it is fine.
I had a great conversation but no romance with someone I dated a few times. We communicated that we need time apart before reconnecting as friends.
Being open really worked for us and we learn so much from each other
Many years ago, far before my personal journey of understanding myself better, I realized I cared for my bf of 4 years but I didn’t love him the way I wanted to love someone I was on the cusp of getting engaged to. I called him that night and told him straight forward. He didn’t believe me and I had to rinse and repeat the next day. I didn’t need to travel 6 hours to him or make him travel to me to break up with him, but I also didn’t need to dance around it or do it through text or an email. Tried to remain friends but his prior wife had cheated on him and he was SURE I had too and spent our chats sniffing for information and looking for the lie so I cut that off as well. Met a guy a few months later and we’ve been together 15 years now.
If it's a no after first meeting, I go along the lines of 'It was great to meet you, I had a fab time! I don't know about you, but I don't think we had romantic vibes? It was a good laugh but I think if we're gonna hang out again it would be as friends'. This way, you highlight that you enjoyed engaging with them and open the opportunity for them to agree/have their say whilst setting the tone for being friendly and only potentially having a friendship. If I've had a few dates with someone, it'd be pretty similar but I would stress the 'I've really enjoyed getting to know you, but I don't feel like we have the connection needed to see each other romantically.' Light-hearted, it ain't a break up!
This has made me realise I’ve never actually ended things with someone I was dating as opposed to in a relationship with. And I’ve only once had someone I’d been chatting to and been on a date with communicate that they didn’t see it going anywhere. All others have either moved to something more serious and eventually ended or they’ve ghosted or something in between. 😅