In all honesty, read the Selfish Romantic because there are entire sections with multiple chapters on this! You are allowed to be sad about others being coupled up, even when I was most happy being single, it is a fact that the world is designed for coupled people and I resented that every weekend it was designated for their partner so f…
In all honesty, read the Selfish Romantic because there are entire sections with multiple chapters on this! You are allowed to be sad about others being coupled up, even when I was most happy being single, it is a fact that the world is designed for coupled people and I resented that every weekend it was designated for their partner so friends only wanted to do things on weekday evenings. You are allowed to have all your feelings about that. My question would be though because you said "I'm gonna end up lonely" that implies that this is not a current problem in your life right now. If you don't feel lonely right not then stop worrying about something that hasn't happened yet. I would start writing down proof of anyone (not just romantic!) that has been a permanent in your life. You only need a few people in your life and if you are monogamous, you are only looking for one romantic partner but believing everyone is temporary will become a self fulfilling prophecy. If you hate small talk, stop having small talk. Lead the conversations, have conversations that you find interesting and actually be curious about the person sitting in front of you. Even outside of the conversation, organise dates doing activities that interest you and things you've always wanted to do so that even if the person isn't a romantic match, you are enjoying your life while you are on first dates. I think the broader issue here is that you are not enjoying life right now and therefore you will be going on dates with a certain energy if you feel that way more broadly about life. Write a list of everything that brings you joy and fun and create time in your schedule for those things! Even if it's a few seconds of joy everyday, that is enough but you need to spend your time and energy focusing on that!
In all honesty, read the Selfish Romantic because there are entire sections with multiple chapters on this! You are allowed to be sad about others being coupled up, even when I was most happy being single, it is a fact that the world is designed for coupled people and I resented that every weekend it was designated for their partner so friends only wanted to do things on weekday evenings. You are allowed to have all your feelings about that. My question would be though because you said "I'm gonna end up lonely" that implies that this is not a current problem in your life right now. If you don't feel lonely right not then stop worrying about something that hasn't happened yet. I would start writing down proof of anyone (not just romantic!) that has been a permanent in your life. You only need a few people in your life and if you are monogamous, you are only looking for one romantic partner but believing everyone is temporary will become a self fulfilling prophecy. If you hate small talk, stop having small talk. Lead the conversations, have conversations that you find interesting and actually be curious about the person sitting in front of you. Even outside of the conversation, organise dates doing activities that interest you and things you've always wanted to do so that even if the person isn't a romantic match, you are enjoying your life while you are on first dates. I think the broader issue here is that you are not enjoying life right now and therefore you will be going on dates with a certain energy if you feel that way more broadly about life. Write a list of everything that brings you joy and fun and create time in your schedule for those things! Even if it's a few seconds of joy everyday, that is enough but you need to spend your time and energy focusing on that!
Thank you Michelle, this is huge help! I will definitely read Selfish Romantic ♥️