I’m struggling with this lately - Do you think it’s possible to ethically have children, knowing that existence can be painful and difficult, that the climate emergency may well mean they grow up in a world previous generations have failed to care for and we are leaving them our mess? Is it always selfish to have children and if so, is i…
I’m struggling with this lately - Do you think it’s possible to ethically have children, knowing that existence can be painful and difficult, that the climate emergency may well mean they grow up in a world previous generations have failed to care for and we are leaving them our mess? Is it always selfish to have children and if so, is it still OK to do it? I am having my eggs frozen as I’m 35 and I have always seen myself as a parent. I believe I would be a good enough parent, but I often wonder if it is justified?
I think this is such a personal question and no one can answer this for each other. I do think it is important to question why you want children. A lot of parents have children to fulfill their own needs forgetting they are complete and separate human beings and then feel disappointed when their child isn't a replica of their imagination. This puts a lot of pressure on the child so I do think self awareness about why you want children is important and then working through that before you have children. In terms of the planet, I am going to be honest and say I don't know and I don't think it is my place to have an opinion on that. If you decide to have children, let that decision lie though. There is no point deciding something and then feeling guilt about it afterwards as that puts you in a double bind and is wasted energy.
Thank you, I think it’s something I need to work through in therapy to decide how I really feel about it. It’s not a decision I would judge anyone else for, but it is one I have to be happy to live with.
To clarify, I’m very glad I’m alive and I feel that human existence is overall a wonderful thing despite its inevitable suffering and hardships, but I worry this may not be the case for my children.
I’m struggling with this lately - Do you think it’s possible to ethically have children, knowing that existence can be painful and difficult, that the climate emergency may well mean they grow up in a world previous generations have failed to care for and we are leaving them our mess? Is it always selfish to have children and if so, is it still OK to do it? I am having my eggs frozen as I’m 35 and I have always seen myself as a parent. I believe I would be a good enough parent, but I often wonder if it is justified?
I think this is such a personal question and no one can answer this for each other. I do think it is important to question why you want children. A lot of parents have children to fulfill their own needs forgetting they are complete and separate human beings and then feel disappointed when their child isn't a replica of their imagination. This puts a lot of pressure on the child so I do think self awareness about why you want children is important and then working through that before you have children. In terms of the planet, I am going to be honest and say I don't know and I don't think it is my place to have an opinion on that. If you decide to have children, let that decision lie though. There is no point deciding something and then feeling guilt about it afterwards as that puts you in a double bind and is wasted energy.
Thank you, I think it’s something I need to work through in therapy to decide how I really feel about it. It’s not a decision I would judge anyone else for, but it is one I have to be happy to live with.
To clarify, I’m very glad I’m alive and I feel that human existence is overall a wonderful thing despite its inevitable suffering and hardships, but I worry this may not be the case for my children.