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Jun 7, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

Yes! This is so pervasive at the moment, and makes me very uncomfortable.

Ironically, if I heard someone I fancied use the term "ick" that would put me off 😂. In a happy, healthy relationship you shouldn't have to be perfect every moment. Thinking someone would be judgmental about insignificant things would not make me feel safe or able to relax.

Just the word itself is immature and implies disgust or disrespect rather than simply not finding someone 100% attractive in one moment

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Jun 7, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

You are so right! I never even heard of the term until I started to follow some relationship anxiety channels on Instagram last year. They are less specific to a certain trait being the 'ick', but approach it a a more general 'at the moment not so much in love' thing. They say the 'ick' is normal because you can't be 100% attracted to someone all the time and attraction and love are moving like waves. But what they say about the 'ick' triggering some uncertainty about yourself really still applies and resonates with alwhat you say about being scared: helmet is an ick? Means they are safe and take care of themselves, so probably protect you too. Scary! Approving sounds when eating gives you the ick? Means they appreciate your skill and affections, while maybe you don't really believe that is true about yourself/you are worthy of this appreciation.

Now, whenever I get annoyed at something in my partner or friends, I look to myself: is their action triggering something that I don't love about myself yet? Of course be compassionate towards yourself about that part, it's not a judgment thing, but a curiosity thing

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Jun 7, 2023Liked by Michelle Elman

Really refreshing take on this. I always said one of my worst nightmares is a relationship where I can't be comfortable and myself with him because I always have to 'impress' him and make sure he's still in to me and I think this ick phenomenon is contributing to those relationships. Appreciate your words

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I've always read the term as saying something about their behaviour is off putting rather than appearance?

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