Dear Michelle: Should I Wait For Him To Be Ready For Commitment?

Should I keep dating him if he isn't where I am and if I do, how do I not get too attached to someone who might not stick around?

Dear Michelle, 

I’ve just started dating again for the first time since becoming single. I’ve done a lot of self-work and am excited to make meaningful new connections. While I’m not in a rush to get into a relationship, I want something more than just hooking up. 

Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

I’ve been on three fun dates with a great guy. He’s proactive in planning and communicates well between dates. On date three, I learned our last relationships ended around about the same time. However, I'm further along in the healing process than he is. He acknowledged he has a lot of work to do and can’t commit to much right now. However, he’s really enjoying our dates and would like to continue seeing me.

Because I enjoy his company, I suggested we proceed slowly, but have been questioning myself since. I’m not attached to him right now, but I don’t want to fall into the trap of waiting around for him to feel something that he might never have. Then again, should I really stop seeing him just because he’s where I was a few months ago?

Do you think I should keep dating him, and if so, what can I do to make sure I don’t get ahead of myself? 

From,

Second Guesser

---

You are currently reading a preview of the PAID version of Growth Spurts. If you would like to keep reading my agony aunt column or get one of your own queries answered yourself, subscription costs as little as £1.10/week - less than buying a card with two words in it! It not only gives you access to me as your personal agony aunt like in this article but also my archive of past articles, all my book reviews and recommendations and the first to know about any announcements. We would love to welcome you into our little community- join us! xx

---