Dear Michelle: How Do I Stop Saying Things I Don't Mean When Angry?

If you've grown up in a family where fights escalate into screaming, shouting and saying hurtful things, it can be one of the hardest things to unlearn. I know because I did it!

Dear Michelle,

My question is specifically about anger outbursts. So a little context, as I was growing up, any fights in my family would usually turn into screaming matches. I managed to unlearn that pattern when I moved out and went to university and instead learned to communicate my anger more calmly, but especially in group discussions, I still have this problem that when I get really frustrated I snap and I will say something really harsh. Immediately after, I will end up regretting it and wishing I hadn’t said it but I’m hardly ever able to catch myself upfront and so I’d like to learn how to stop myself from saying something out of frustration that will end up hurting someone hence that I can channel my frustration in a more productive way and still get my point across. I would love it if you could help.

All my love,

Lola xx